draining's Diaryland Diary

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excerpt from \"excerpts\" (see previous entries)

When the Sirens Come for the Girl

Girl, when you scream in your bathtub
it sounds like a whisper to me
and only the people in the movie in your head
send wailing sirens that flicker red against the night windows
and know what's really going on.

Girl, where are you going?
Not to the ER
cause no one can hear you
no one believes you
you dutifully stick to using your pink razor to shave your legs
instead of cutting yourself
and you know how you hate the sight of your own blood
you'll live and die this way
dying over and over in your head
with every obit that your mom helps her friends write for their children

cause you used to think no one knew
what's really going on
but maybe it's you, girl
maybe you're the one who doesn't know what's really going on

maybe if you stop whispering
and stop pretending your whispers are screams
and speak for real to the real world in a loud, clear voice
and stop being afraid to live, love, fuck, and laugh,
you'll finally be on the same wavelength as the rest of humanity
and that big scary world won't keep you guessing anymore

because, guess what, girl, you're part of that world
and when the sirens do come, it'll be for real
you won't be able to notice the color of the flashing lights
you'll just notice alternating fields of light and dark
as you fade in, fade out, fade away...

If that day ever comes, girl
which you know deep down it won't
cause you promised yourself that day crying in the cemetery
that it never would

7:55 p.m. - 2006-04-16
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